ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I looked at my own cervix.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
