omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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