so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
