Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
