You can't motorboat a personality
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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