really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
