David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
