so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Congratulations! We have a period
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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