Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My life is pants optional.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
