I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
