I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I want a musical about memes.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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