nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
