You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
