he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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