Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
