If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
