sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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