you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
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