anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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