I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
