Don't you send me to vm
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
