Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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