Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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