hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
