I love black thongs
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
