So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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