i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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