omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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