You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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