he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
