No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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