you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Boobs speak an international language.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
