the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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