Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
