After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
