I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
