I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
