i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
