Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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