hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just found a bag of teeth...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize