when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
