I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
