wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
