Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i was born a porn star she said
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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