If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
