these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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