Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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