Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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