Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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