So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Found your dick twin last night
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
