It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
