Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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